Single Girls Valentine’s Day Survival
If you are currently single, you may be experiencing mild to severe anxiety as Valentine’s Day approaches. Has your BFF ever had to talk you down from an emotional ledge, pry your ex-boyfriend’s decapitated photograph away, lock all your Ho-hos and Hagen-Daz in a bullet proof firesafe? There is no need to wait on someone else to give you all the love you deserve. Here is a quick list of things to do to make loving you lovely this Valentine’s Day.
- Invite all the single ladies over and celebrate that you are not settling, lowering your standards, in an unhealthy relationship, or unworthy.
- Create delicious cocktails with defiant names; i.e. Gin & Truth, Long Island Free, I personally enjoy Child Support on the rocks.
3 Shots Cake Vodka (Use Liberally)
1 Can Cream Soda
1/2 Cup Heavy Whipping Cream
Combine all ingredients and pour over ice.
- Play crazy board games like What the F?, Loaded Questions, or Munchkin Booty.
- Cook or cater every deliciously sinful confection you can imagine.
- Exchange cards with girlfriends that call in every good thing they want or need in a significant other.
- Do not under any circumstances phone your ex, unless he is Idris Elba. Then by all means call him up and repent.
- Don’t look at old photos wistfully that *ish always ends badly.
- Call Just for Her and have them bring out their whole line of products for your party goers to peruse.
- Don’t play that old “I’m in love @$$ music.”
- Don’t be the third wheel on anyone’s Valentine’s date. I don’t care if they insist you join them. Decline damn it!!
- Don’t sit around dressed like you had crack for breakfast and smelling like the business end of a donkey.
- Get up and get fabulous!! Sometimes you must look glam in ordinary circumstances to remind yourself that someday you are going somewhere grand.
- Don’t keep company with the miserable. Single is not a punishment it is a season of liberation.
- Location, location, location. If your surroundings do not inspire peace and positivity. Relocate!!! Even if it’s only for one night.
- Do not make any social contracts that dishonor your spirit; i.e. one night stands, random hookups, last dude do-overs.
“Good sex is the kind of sex you wanted before it happened, during, and when it is over you still want it.”- LadySpeech Sankofa
- If your blind date offers you a drink from an open container, JUST SAY NO!!! Roofies are the gift that keeps on giving in the worst way.
- Most importantly shower yourself in unconditional love. You are worthy and you deserve it.
- Light a fire. Fire pit, fireplace, chiminea, or a large tin drum. Write down all the reasons you think you aren’t lovable, every lie about love you were ever told, and the name of every person you allowed to love you less than you deserved. Surround the fire with your girls. Crank Ledisi Pieces of Me and Goapele Closer to My Dreams loud enough to wake up the ancestors. Bid a fond farewell to all bull$#it and DANCE like Massa, Missus and the plantation just burned to the ground. GIVE US FREE!!!
All jokes aside being single is not a death sentence. Valentine’s day is not just for couples. Hell, the Pagans went HAM. Love you hard. Make couples jealous of how completely and thoroughly you digg you. Celebrate love in every form that it has blessed you and be well. Until we meet again…
All Love, All Light, Always,