I wanted to just check in with you all, and let you know that I am still with you. It is the last week of my summer semester and exams and papers in Japanese, Criminology, and Gender in the Middle East are taking a hefty chunk of my once available blogging time. Not to mention those four beautiful children of mines who seem to need me for all kinds of random chauffeuring, cooking, and monster slaying. Having said that, I want to reach out to those of you who are condemning yourself for not vlogging and blogging every day.
RUHCUS is about liberation and freedom, not bondage to routine and ritual. There is nothing wrong with posting and sharing as you can. Don’t quit because you feel to far behind to catch up. Post for multiple days in one message. You aren’t on a time clock. This isn’t a race or a competition. I don’t feel the slightest bit guilty about handling business for the past three days and back logging. I want to challenge you, if you dropped out because it seemed like another task on your long to do list and you were overwhelmed, get back in the process. You dont have to start over with day one. Being swamped by obligations and family is part of the process, move forward. My healing is a priority, but so are my children, education, activism, gas, water, electric and rent.#ijs
Are You A Hoarder?
After the monumental success of the Willing to Weep ceremony, I have been completely altered permanently. If you were missing an arm from birth you wouldnt know any other way. I didn’t know any other way. You might even believe that you were operating at full capacity, and just as capable as any two armed person. You could accomplish great things in the world and feel you had made the best of your life inspite of your handicap. I’ve had relative success and things I considered to be great accomplishments in my then limited state.
Lets say you go to a healer with a friend, not believing that anything will change or that you need it. After all you have become and expert at navigating with your one good arm. Right? So the healer finds the root cause of your handicap and suddenly your other arm pops out whole and intact. You clapping your hands, windmilling on fools on GP, turning cartwheels, skiing and all kinds of things you had never been able to do. Wow who knew life could be this good with a whole heart.
Well that’s what I feel like. I didnt even realize that I had spent my whole life compensating for my broken heart. Every decision, dream, relationship, or interaction I ever had was diminished by all of the junk that I was hoarding. My heart was fractured, and my spirit was cluttered with every insult, injury, and wound I had ever received. I spent 32 years collecting. At about 12 years old I remember telling myself over and over again I will never forget this betrayal, I will never forget this pain and I continued to say that every time I got hurt. Cataloging my life. I remember how tangible the pain and anger was, and feeling as if remembering was my last defense against the people trying to sweep it under the rug. I swore to hang on to it forever…and I almost did. I coudnt even see how much junk was filling my house(spirit), and when some loving friend or family member suggested I lay my anger down, downsize my weapons arsenal, or let go of a grudge…I went off KATIE KABOOM style like one of the hoarders. I would justify my need to keep it by explaining the story behind the item, and why I had to keep it.
When a hoarded house is crammed to capacity it attracts vermin.( I aint even going to lean on this one.What kind of men you attracting?)You do the math. Below is a list of some of them.
- self abasing thoughts
- self destructive behavior
- parasitic relationships
- emotional eating
- self sabotaging your goals
- skewed self image
My Willing to Weep Ceremony was cleaning house on steroids. I feel so liberated and for the first time in my life i feel whole. No cracks or creatures. I never knew I could love the people in my world as I do now, without judgement. I am forever grateful for all of my friends that participated and have no negative feelings about the ones who didnt.
“Your eyes will adjust to the level of dysfunction around you.” Iyanla Vanzant
Maybe you have done some hoarding of your own. You may have been looking at your mess so long that you cant tell the mess from the rest. I promise if you keep hoarding, no matter how pretty your lawn or exclusive the neighborhood, youre rotting from the inside out.
We need your RUHCUS, and so do you.
Instructions on creating your own RUHCUS